Films/DVD Asylum

Posted by Troy (A) on July 01, 2003 at 15:18:43

In Reply to: The steaming pile of monkey-dung that was Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle posted by Some Guy on June 30, 2003 at 06:33:57:

What did you expect, "Touch of Evil"?

Yeah, saying I enjoyed "Full Throttle" was like handling a paperbag full of diarrhea- Impossible not to come out of it without shite on you. But here goes.

Incoherant and idiotic, yes. Better than all the super hero movies like X-Men or the Hulk? Yes, and here's both reasons why.

1. SEX. Personally, I am infatuated with Cameron Diaz's bionic butt. That thing is simply amazing. Her face is getting harsher looking as she ages, but there's a sweet streak in her that I find utterly charming. I could watch her fold laundry for two hours and be perfectly happy. They were all sexy as hell (except Drew who I find repellant with her dowdy figure, lisp and arrogant bogus rock-and-roll manner. The most unbelieveable character in a film packed with unbelieveable characters) and yeah, Demi, old enough to be . . . my wife, was shockingly tight after popping out her brood. But it was the sexy interplay between them all that I found wonderfully titilating and very American. No, none of them can act any better than a birch tree, but they were fun to just watch prancing and cavorting around looking at each other that way.

2. It was FUNNY. Both intentionally and UNintentionally. You make no mention of Bernie Mac's role. He was the funniest character in either chuck's beavers movie. The whole thing was just so absurd that if it had any intentions of having you take it seriously as A) Film, or B) Art, they were completely lost on me. It was meant to be taken as seriously as a 3 Stooges short. Had there been even ONE serious scene in it, the whole movie would have failed (like the last Austin Powers flick), but it remained true to it's completely ridiculous self. Hilarious costume changes and disguises and some bizarre stunts that were so far over the top, they were hysterical. In general, the whole movie is just a lark. To me, this is way more enjoyable to watch than ANY "Star Wars" movie or "Lord of the Rings" Movie or "X-Men" movie because it has no pretensions of being a serious story about absurd characters that people think are real. It was a silly movie about silly characters, nothing more, nothing less.

Now, I'm the first guy to jump on people who say "Well, it was ok if you go in with low expectations". Like that makes it ok for a movie to be lackadasical and underacheiving. I always want and expect more from movies than most people. But I just LIKED this movie for some reason. The TONE just felt right. Raucus, silly, pointless eye candy.

No, no one should pay to see it. It's not even worth matinee price, but it's not "Tomcats" either, ya know?