Audio Asylum Thread Printer

Get a view of an entire thread on one page

FAQ / News / Events

Films/DVD Asylum

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Boring Filmmaking

69.242.9.48

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Thread: Display Email Next ] [ Films/DVD Asylum ]

Victor Khomenko

The movie starts on a promising note. But then it quickly goes downhill, and becomes outright boring and tedious in its second half.
Seeing all those period swords and uniforms was a welcome delight, and Jonny Depp, whom I dislike on many levels, is quite convincing and even fun to watch. Good performance by Geoffrey Rush as well.
Keira Knightley, who doesn't know much about acting, gives us wonderful demonstration of what Natalie Portman would look like if grown six inches taller and with bigger cans. The facial similarity is amazing, especially in the upper part of the face. She was quite pleasant to watch, and was largely responsible for my not turning it all off.
But the film simply ran out of steam too fast. There is absolutely no reason it should have dragged - DRAGGEDDD!!!! - for all those torturous endless 143 minutes. If cut to perhaps the standard 90, it would make immesurably more sense.
The fighting scenes are mostly done for the pre-adolescent crowd, and the living corpses would make great show if only for a minute or so... time after time it was simply boring... so boring in fact that I started to take numerous breaks without apparently losing anything - let the dog out, hit the bathroom, checked the ebay sales... all the while the silly corpses kept their lame swordplay going... like the nagging November rain.
Overal a big waste of effort and money. If you haven't seen it - watch the first hour, then go and do something productive, then catch the last 30 minutes and you will have a fun movie. Otherwise a huge snoozer.

Follow Ups:

Keira Knightley,- Natalie Portman with bigger cans. - EdM 13:06:14 03/05/05 (1)
I love that!
Music is Emotion
- But KN is flat as a board and NP isn't. - sjb 23:02:39 03/05/05 (0)
  nt
  
  "Where are we going? And what am I doing in this hand basket?"
Have you seen "The Last Samuri"? I thought Cruise was fabulous with the sword. Excellent speed and strength. (nt - dennzio 09:44:01 03/05/05 (0)
nt
Reading books about pirates..... - RC 11:12:37 03/04/05 (8)
.....Is always more enjoyable than watching movies about pirates. I don't know why this is. There has only been one good "pirate movie" ever and that was "Treasure Island" with Wallace Beery & Jackie Cooper.
All other pirate movies thoughout the years stink. Even Spielbergs HOOK.
Remember Roman Polanskis "Pirates"?
I had high hopes for POTC, with J.Depp. Was terribly disappointed. Falls right into the "bin" with all the other badly-made-pirate-films.

Russ
- "A High Wind in Jamaica" (1965) was pretty good, and more than enjoyable... (nt) - orejones 05:00:26 03/05/05 (1)
  - And "The Crimson Pirate" (1952) is a very good one, too... (nt) - orejones 05:03:32 03/05/05 (0)
- Re: Reading books about pirates..... - rico 13:59:54 03/04/05 (0)
  Pirate movies have NEVER done well at the box office but keep being made anyway. Save for the mentioned "Captain Blood" I have never seen a good one.
- Maybe age related? - Victor Khomenko 12:10:09 03/04/05 (0)
  I presume most of us read those books when we were much younger, and our imagination was not yet soiled with jobs, taxes, mortgages, abortions, animal rights? I think it was the age before 15 when I read all those. Captain Blood was one of my all-time favorites.
- Re: Reading books about pirates..... - jamesgarvin 11:32:55 03/04/05 (3)
  Swashbuckler with Robert Shaw was decent.
  - The Crimson Pirate, Errol Flynn - grinagog 16:05:19 03/04/05 (2)
    has great sword fights and is a classic in its way
    Grins
    - Also the remake, with Burt Lancaster... - cjfrbw 23:14:23 03/04/05 (1)
      saw it when I was a kid, funny and adventurous.
      - OOPS! the Flynn film is "The Sea Hawk"(my bad) - grinagog 00:41:42 03/05/05 (0)
        
        In Reply to: Also the remake, with Burt Lancaster... posted by cjfrbw on March 4, 2005 at 23:14:23:
        
        and the Burt Lancaster film is wonderful!
        Grins
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Boring Filmmaking - jamesgarvin 08:14:23 03/04/05 (0)
Is it too long? Probably. But this is popcorn entertainment, made for the same people who enjoy a mindless ride at the Disney park. Which I do. Viewing this film with the same eye you would toward "high art" is pointless. It was designed for people to escape their lives for a couple of hours, have fun with some goofy acting, see some ghosts, etc. Which it did. But then, some people are too smart and serious for such frolic.
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Boring Filmmaking - PdL 07:31:38 03/04/05 (1)
I thought this filmed stunk. Way too long, and I quickly tired of the special effects (the ghosts and whatever.) Keira is quite pretty, although I think she looked better in Bend it Like Beckham. (How old was she in BILB - late teens?) Hopefully she'll improve as an actress as she gets a bit older.
Stayed tuned Victor - they have a announced a sequal to Pirates! Supposedly with Keef Richards playing Depp's father.....
- Keith Richards: a "plug-and-play" Pirate ( ! ) - grinagog 16:02:53 03/04/05 (0)
  Depp based his odd mannerisms in the film on Keef
  I thought Jeffery Rushs and Depps hijacking of the Disney formula to work well; it could have been far worse
  But too long
  Grins
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Boring Filmmaking - patrickU 07:08:21 03/04/05 (0)
You forgot to denounce the never ending boring & nerving digital effects, oh boy what a pain in the " cul "!
As for the rest ...
A perfect review. nt - tinear 06:42:44 03/04/05 (0)
dfbh

This post is made possible by the generous support of people like you and our sponsors:

You can not post to an archived thread.