Films/DVD Asylum

Posted by Dalton (A) on February 10, 2007 at 13:04:18

In Reply to: What is one of the greatest personal pain for you in movie------ posted by patrickU on February 10, 2007 at 04:48:41:

Here are a few movie cliches I groan at:

- Why did you order that drink?

Only in the movies will people at a bar or restaurant order drinks and then never take even one sip out of them. (I do realize this is often done to make continuity between takes easier, but still...)

- Bathroom hijinks

There was a time not too long ago that people jokingly complained that no one ever went to the bathroom in movies. Seems Hollywood took that criticism seriously. Now you can hardly see a movie without the obligatory man-at-a-urinal shot. Often, complete strangers will strike up "humorously awkward" conversations standing next to each other at the urinal (which of course, always happens in real life). And inevitably, the zipper can not be rezipped without an exagerated motion, such as the man briefly launching himself onto the balls of his feet in the process. For females, the lack of toilet tissue in the stall is such a foregone conclusion that I'm surprised every woman doesn't carry a roll of Charmin in her purse. And of course, the shear number of incidents in which a character manages to inadvertently select the wrong gender's rest room is truly amazing.

- Action movie physics: F=ma for males, F=(m^2)a for females.

In an action movie fight, a 150lb male is weak - always completely out-classed against heavier men. If the 150lb weakling wins the fight, it's only after he is first beaten to a bloody pulp (the bruises, cuts, and abrasions magically heal by the next scene, of course). But, somehow, a 100lb female fashion model can easily overpower a 300lb body builder with arms the size of tree trunks - sometimes kicking him clear across the room or flipping him over her back - without so much as messing her hair. All by using her expertise in the "martial arts".

Buddy, can't you please spare a dime?

- In the movies, characters always seem to have exact change when paying a cashier. Except when they really need exact change for a phone call or a vending machine or something, that is. Then they have only a single dollar bill, which they are inevitably unable to convince a heartless cashier to give them change for unless they buy an item first. Your life is in danger? The clerk doesn't care; you must buy that pack of gum first. Often the "farce" continues as the hapless coin seeker is unable to select an item that will leave him or her sufficient change.