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Saw this on a tabloid at my local Safeway:THREE-LEGGED FIGURE SKATER BANNED FROM OLYMPICS
and they had pictures!Just when I thought I had seen it all!
Sorry for being off topic.
Follow Ups:
...if that guy (obviously played by Tom Croise) was banned by the heartless officials, had to fight the huge odds to get his right to compete reinstated with the help of a wonderful liberal lawyer played by Tom Hanks.He would then proceed to run in the race, only to find himself cursed and ylelled at by the obviously biased conservative crowd led by Tom Selleck, unfairly put in the back at the starting line, pushed at each turn and shoved into the snow bank. He would pull himself out, one of his three legs broken, hold it with his hand and continue with the race, catching up, closing on the leader, only to see the leader's elbow hit him in the face, knocking out his eye. Disregardig the pain and blood running down his face he would keep pushing forward, overtaking the leader but suddenly hit by a bullet from a sniper masquarading as the UN observer crew team member. With his second leg paralized, he would start crawling towards the finish line, finishing .2" ahead of the nasty leader and collapse in the hands of his newly discovered girlfried, played - of course - by Julia Roberts. Sausa march playing in the backgrownd, the hero is shoved in the ambulance, Julia by his side, cheering crowd opening the way for the cavalcade led by twenty five police motorcycles, with presidential limo closing the ranks.
Final scene - our hero on three crutches - in the White house, with President, played by Michael Douglas giving him the highest order of Zimbabwe.
That film, aptly called "The American Spirit", grossed over 750 billion dollars.
...designer of audio equipment. I didn't know you were an accomplished American screenwriter.Unfortunately, the story was about a figure (not speed) skater, so we'll have to have Kevin Spacey play the lead. Unless it was a woman. Then Nancy Kerrigan could get that big-screen acting credit she has deserved ever since her hosting stint on SNL. What is wrong with the casting directors?
I can't wait to see that movie. Especially the big scene where she finally gets the Olympic gold medal, even though one of her knees is broken by her rival's husband. She goes out and skates her routine on only two legs. And the crowd goes WILD!
I'd say your version has some merit too, but mine has a twist.It was suddenly discovered that our hero, since he had three legs, also had not just one, but two.... well, you know what.
It was therefore decided that he should be allowed two spouses - thank to the tireless effort of the same Tom Hanks lawyer guy.
So they all live happily - our hero, his Julia wife and another spouse played by George Clooney.
If you think this is good, you should hear some of the speeches I wrote for Brezhnev.
Sounds vaguely familiar. Isn't that Hollywood plot #194?
nt
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