Video Asylum

Posted by petew (i) on June 20, 2000 at 11:35:11:

yep, I'm within' spittin' distance of Valley Forge. I've heard about the multipathin' before, and even went as far as to run a high-end coax from the ground block where the cable comes in right to the TV. But the problem is definitely theirs, which is why I decided to go with the dish.

I installed the dish myself in about 2 hours, box to picture. It was much easier than I thought. And the picture--wow! You really don't know how bad cable is until you see a good satalite feed. Then I spent the next few months deleting channels I don't want. Isn't it nice of them to keep adding more? Wish I had an airtime meter so I knew which channels I never watch--then a feature that automaticaly kills that channel from neglect.

The worst thing about the satalite: no local weather. Yep, the Weather channel won't show you local forecasts, so you have no idea when that F5 tornado is spinning your way. Instead, they flash a cloud-cover map of Florida for a few seconds, and then switch to infra-red muzzle flashes in Idaho, followed by a useless list of citys with smilie faces and frowns. (this just in: it rains alot in Seattle). By the time you find the nearist city on the list it's gone, and then some 9months pregnant woman is standing in front of the map, blocking the entire East Coast, explaining once again, that the weather in Texas is mighty BIG.

I almost switched back to cable when I found this out. To me, the only really usefull thing about digital satalite TV is real time doppler radar, 24/12. Nothing else matters. In a perfect world, I'd have wall-sized, live doppler radar images overlaying isobars all over the house--inside and out. Cool.

Rooftop antenna:
The zoning in our township calls for 2 acre lots for single family homes. The way around that if you're a developer is to build the house on 1/4 acre, and call the swamp in the backyard "open space". The open space is then managed by a homeowner's association, technically speaking. (I could tell you some stories...) In the community by-laws, we aren't allowed TV masts or antennas (or boats or motor homes, or commercial vehicles, or laundry lines, or hanging towels on the deck, or painting the house purple with yellow spots, etc..). The guy with the ham rig lives in the next neighborhood. They ain't got no rules over there.

When we moved in, we thought the by-laws and rules would protect us from weird neighbors. But, because there's no way to enforce the rules, the neighbors do as they wish. Funny thing is, the neighbors who don't observe the rules also have the mean dogs, the guns, and the most violent drinking problems--you know, they are cops. So yes, technically, I could put up a 70 foot mast with an antenna and a rotor, but it would be a moral and spiritual defeat. Fifty feet from my front door, my neighbor with the boat trailer on his front lawn has put up a 45 foot dead pine tree. He calls it a flagpole, but there's no flag on it--and there hasn't been for several years now. It was hit by lightening once, which split it in two and threw pine bark in every direction--mostly on my roof and against the siding. I checked with the township and he has no permit for it, or the fence, or the deck, or the addition. The zoning officer want's to know if I'm gonna file a complaint. I told him I don't have a gun. He looked at me like I'd just told him I had a poopie in my pants. In Pennsylvania, if you don't carry, you're not really human.

So now that the sun is directly overhead, I'm thinking about climbing into the attic under my black roof, to put up a rat shack array. Since there's no light up there, I'll do it at high noon so I can see. Perhaps I won't need to ground the thing, since my neighbor's "flagpole" has already proven it's worth as a lightening attractor. Then I'll dump the dish, and stop watching TV altogether.

"I get all the news I need from the weather report..."
--paul simon.
the only living boy in New York

Oh, one final thing. People have the impression that lawyers sue over things like this. It's sometimes true, but more likely, when we hear of trivial cases tying up the courts, it's a person ignorant of the law, or disrespectful of the system, who's doing it. A lawyer is obligated to represent his client's wishes, even when those wishes go against legal counsel. If the Clintons had listened to the counsel of their attourneys...it would all have ended years ago, and he wouldn't be about to lose his license to earn a living. Clients are dumb, lawyers are smart. If you see a dumb legal thing--just remember, it was the client's idea, the lawyer is just doing his job.