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In Reply to: wah wah wah..... posted by Carl Eber on December 24, 2001 at 21:08:10:
Carl, your best humor happens when you dont even know it.joe
Follow Ups:
Thanks, so that must mean that I can't help but have a terrific sense of humor, even when I try not to. A pity that its breadth inspires such treacherous envy though. Perhaps I should try to not be such a charismatic guy, blessed with supreme wit, boundless in its scope...but then again, perhaps it is those who fall into envy who should take it upon themselves to atone.
...were laughing at you, not with you. Yes Carl, you are a natural resource - a veritable fountain of unintentional humor. So please do keep posting. I havn't laughed so much in years...joe
I'm laughing so hard at you that I'm puking...so thank you, I have enjoyed this plenty! As soon as I get to bed your wife, I'm sure that will be the capper! Just make sure she takes a bath first...I do have standards.
...quite the way to spend the holidays there Carl. But then if I was stuck with your life I'd be probably be doing it too.By the way, have you checked the tire pressure on the doublewide lately? Must really be a pain in the butt when the tires on the house go flat.
joe
Shows how much you know...trailers are up on blocks when someone lives in them; they only use the tires when they're being towed. I've never seen a "doublewide", but perhaps you're referring to something else there, I dunno?I live in a sizable brick home myself (always have, even as a kid), but I understand why the servant class needs cheap housing, and I don't begrudge such a necessity (we used to have to drive through a slum back when I was a kid, so I remember seeing the blocks supporting these little structures). It's better than banishing them to the streets I suppose.
No one in my extended family, or that I have known personally, has ever lived in a "trailer park" (if they even exist anymore, which I doubt)...in case that's the conclusion you and Rich are desperate to jump to. There are quite a few affluent people in Tennessee, and thankfully we had the foresight to realize that Al Gore would have made a terrible president. Just think, if he'd only won his own state, he wouldn't have needed Florida...perhaps Lieberman should have spent more time here than in Florida? Nah, we could see through him too (not that anyone can't). I mean, my dog has a higher IQ than Lieberman, and Chomper ain't too bright his own self, as Dobermans go...
I actually own a 200 acre estate (my house is about 1/10 mile from the street...in the future it will be 1/3 mile, and much larger, complete with a 5 acre reflecting/wildlife lake and evergreen grove). My home adjoins a multi-billionaire's 3000 acre estate to the north, in case you're wondering. They have fox hunts, thoroughbred racing and everything...they think they're royalty I guess.
Actually, it's quite lovely down here in the South, but apparently yankee dumbasses think anywhere in the South is a pig farm or something (especially if they've never been here...and technically, there are more pig farms in Iowa). It's paradise down here (I've been to the northeast many times, btw, so I know how you live).
I'm glad we kicked all you carpetbagger's back to where you came from after the war. We may have "lost" the war, but we still got to keep our land. If the North had been smart, they'd have forced us to live up there in the permafrost, and taken over our estates to live down here. Personally, I'm glad they had shi+ for brains, 'cause I get to live the good life down here. Sherman saw all those homes, and rather than conquer and displace them, he preferred to just burn them out of his own envy...thinking they'd never be rebuilt. You should see them all in and around Atlanta now...quite a historic site to behold, and quite a triumph in the end, as it happens.
Some of the people from the north have wised up...many that travel through this area lately on vacation, wind up moving here permanently from places like Chicago and Detroit. They're much happier people after the move...
You see, I don't like to live like a pack rat in an urban area (and pay $2.5k/month rent for that "privilege"); I like the serenity that only many acres allow. I also don't like to drive on salted icy roads, cause they constantly need to be paved over again after the salt destroys them (with both federal and state tax dollars being needlessly wasted in the process, not to mention the oil resources), and also the salt ruins the cars themselves (needlessly driving up auto insurance premiums nationwide). And I do like to drive fine automobiles on occasion...
Um, I don't drink, so I won't be puking my guts out anytime soon, at least not until your wife gets here. Btw, has she had her shots? Also, I don't care for lice much...and I do hope she doesn't have any STD's...you promised me that she didn't...and goodness knows I believe anything anyone tells me.
nt
...simultaneous orgasm!
....due to the fact (I kid you not) they are "equiped" with two, thats right, TWO of them thar female pleasure rods !!
So how about it, what does the "reflecting" part mean ?
nt
...hog waste "lagoon" as they call it in his trade.Which, er, uhm, basiclly makes it a big pool 'O hog sh*t.
joe
And I'd be willing to bet 3 of your wife's sets of panties that there are more hog farms in TX than in TN...TX is also where that man Steve Austin became bionic after his career as an astronaut, I believe (it was on tv, so I take it as gospel!!)...it's also a state soon to become an emancipated province of Mexico, which I find hilarious! Vecente Fox, "you go girl!"
That's the first time I've ever heard a trailer park described as an "estate". Now, technically, is that an "estate" or a "trailer estate"?Carpetbagger? Moi? That's the first time I've ever heard a Texan described as a carpetbagger. And as I already told you Carl, the wife nixed the deal after reading a few of your posts so it's just gonna be another night in the trailer with the inflatable doll for you...
joe
Perhaps if I tried to contact her while she's at work...or would that make me seem too forward for her taste?
...you're a bit too forward for anyone's taste.joe
I'll have to think of something else then. All this talk about her being the "high school sweetheart type" gets me all hot and bothered...
Why would you care about STDs? Rumour has it that you hanker after inflatable dolls. Order 'em right off the internet. Never have to leave the trailer.Gosh, we miss your charming, errrrrrrr, "wit" over on Outside. Y'all be sure to come back and give us a hallo some time. Keep that tail between your legs.
Heh heh, Rod deleted my posts over there after I embarressed him, so going back right now won't be necessary...my mission was accomplished...for now. Oh, and again, why don't YOU "f#ck THIS wit"...I got your f#ckwit right here, sonny...(that was a tiny fragment of all that was deleted over there, in case you missed it)...good day to you, and drive very carefully...
***perhaps it is those who fall into envy who should take it upon themselves to atone***Maybe Joe should mosey on down to Tennessee for a "baptizin" with you and your "kinfolk".
Tennessee is like heaven on earth compared to wherever you live. You've obviously never been here...and count your wife's lucky hooker receipts you've never been near me, cause rest assured, you wouldn't like it, unless death becomes you or sumthin...
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