The best is the Wall Street Journal's, not available online. So:"I wouldn't be surprised if the lifeform known as George Lucas, weary of trying to recapture the joyous spirit of long ago, had secretly cloned himself..."
"For all its videogame bedazzlements, [II] suffers from severe digital glut, periodically relieved, if you can call it that, by amateur theatrics."
"The too-muchness of the movie as a whole dulls the brilliance of its best accomplishments. Now that those special-effects wizards at [ILM] can do anything under our sun or any other, they do everything -- every single or multiple thing they can think of to thicken the visual texture."
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Then, the Boston Phoenix: An excerpt from towards the end: "As for the special effects, they're pyrotechnical wallpaper backing some of the worst dialog written by human or machine."
ONE-STAR WARS
By Peter Keough
Is George Lucas the world’s worst filmmaker? His last two Star Wars entries display all the ineptitude of an Ed Wood but none of the innocence, and the latest, the long-awaited Episode II Attack of the Clones, falls to new depths of narrative incoherence, torturous banality, and acting incompetence. Why, then, will it make about $40 million by tomorrow morning? Because, though a lousy director and writer, Lucas is nonetheless an evil genius, able to tap into, if not the Dark Side, then the Dumb Side, clouding weak or at least willing minds to his product’s fraudulence.
And give him credit, he knows how to tap into the zeitgeist as well. The opening sequence culminates in the explosion of a terrorist bomb intended to kill former queen and current senator Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman, swapping the regal kabuki carapace for a Britney Spears navel-baring look). Separatists — remember that riveting backstory about taxes and trade routes from Episode I? — want to break up the republic, and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), the John Ashcroft of his day, secretly hopes to turn the emergency to his advantage, raising an army of the republic for homeland security. Miffed by this is disgruntled former Jedi master Count Dooku (Christopher Lee). In perhaps the film’s only attempt at depth and ambiguity, neither Palpatine nor Dooku is as good or evil as he seems.
And so on. It all appears a ruse to get the future Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker (dud Hayden Christensen), away from Jedi mentor and wet blanket Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and alone with the lovely Padmé. He’s sent to her home planet, Naboo, to be her bodyguard while Obi-Wan checks out a lead on the assassination attempt. Jedis, of course, are not permitted to love (no human emotions are allowed in a Lucas film, only their simulation), but on what look like sets from The Student Prince Anakin woos Padmé in cinema’s most embarrassing courtship since Ben Affleck played with animal crackers on Liv Tyler’s tummy in Armageddon.
Fortunately, Lucas has no notion of dramatic structure or narrative coherence, so this mushy stuff ceases abruptly when Anakin decides he must visit Shmi (poor Pernilla August), the mother he left behind on Tatooine, since he hasn’t seen her in 10 years. He meets for the first time his stepbrother, his stepbrother’s girlfriend, and her mother’s new husband. Shmi has been captured by the Comanche-like Tuskens; stepdad has recently lost a leg. "We’ve got to talk," he says.
Indeed. So much for character development and graceful exposition, though the detour allows to Lucas indulge in a belabored allusion to The Searchers that underscores how far, far away we are from the galaxy of John Ford. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan has discovered that some 10 years back, a now-deceased Jedi master ordered, without the council’s knowledge, a million-man clone army. Now delivery is about due. Did someone steal his credit card?
Okay, nobody said this had to make immediate sense — maybe we should just have faith that everything will fall into place with Episode III, in a resolution that Lucas himself modestly describes as "symphonic." On the plus side, too, there’s not much of Jar Jar Binks (Ahmed Best) or any of the other puerile alien/racial stereotypes from The Phantom Menace. But there’s also nothing that gets your attention the way those annoyances did. And as for the special effects, with a few exceptions they’re pyrotechnical wallpaper backing some of the worst dialogue written by human or machine.
Any actor would be stymied by this crap. Harrison Ford took the right approach with his sardonic seriousness; his presence is missed. But Portman, McGregor, Lee, and Samuel L. Jackson as Jedi cipher Mace Windu haven’t got a chance. The only performer who does credit to the script is Yoda (voiced by Frank Oz), and he’s a special effect. He puts in a hell of a show when he dukes it up with Dooku, bouncing off the walls like a superball (round two in the wizard wars for Lee, who went mano-a-mano in The Lord of the Rings as Saruman versus Ian McKellen’s Gandalf), his lightsaber flashing. And he brings true menace to his rebuke of an over-optimistic Obi-Wan Kenobi near the end. "Victory? Victory? Begun this Clone War has!" I have a bad feeling about who’s going to win.
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Finally, Boston's Weekly Dig: An excerpt: "At some point, someday, some one with the chutzpah to stand up to George Lucas will tell him point-blank that dialog matters. Lines like "I've been dying a little bit each day since I met you. Because... I... I... love you", are unacceptable."
by Orion Smith
Is this film better than Episode I? Absolutely. Does it measure up to the original trilogy? Almost. The general plot continues as Anakin and Obi-Wan are sent to investigate an assassination plot on Senator Amidala. Similar to Empire, Episode II (which takes place 10 years after Episode I) concentrates on major battle scenes, further exploration of The Force, and throws in some rather unexpected plot twists as well.
Lucas made an excellent choice of Hayden Christensen to play the teenaged Anakin Skywalker. Christensen portrays the young Darth Vader just as a young, brash brat who sees more promise in rebellion than in peace. Natalie Portman rehashes her warmed-over Senator Amidala character, who seems to become weaker with each passing installment in the trilogy. McGregor continues as Obi Wan and Samuel L. Jackson finally gets some decent screen time as Mace Windu, using some of his bad-ass attitude skills picked up from Pulp Fiction.
The acting in Episode II is surprisingly strong despite the heavy-handed lines that occasionally draw snickers from the audience. At some point, someday, some one with the chutzpah to stand up to George Lucas will tell him point-blank that dialog matters. Lines like "I've been dying a little bit each day since I met you. Because... I... I... love you", are unacceptable. However, many compliments are owed to his animation teams. Yoda's fight sequences (yes, Yoda) could easily have been a flop, but succeeds wildly. John Williams' score is also worthy of commendation. Mixing strong new pieces such as “The Love Theme" with staples like “The Imperial March" only serve to bring evocative character to a film that often suffers from lead-weight dialog.
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Topic - More (mostly local) reviews on SWEII - clarkjohnsen 10:41:39 05/18/02 (44)
- The Problems With George's Recent Star Wars are..... - Rich H 07:58:33 05/22/02 (0)
- Saw it. If you like "Star Wars" movies, this is a marvelous one. - Ears 00:36:13 05/21/02 (5)
- Good points - yata 13:51:38 05/21/02 (1)
- Re: Good points - Ears 15:00:01 05/21/02 (0)
- My ratings on a 1-10 scale would be something like this: - Audiophilander 13:50:43 05/21/02 (2)
- Re: My ratings on a 1-10 scale would be something like this: - Ears 14:46:15 05/21/02 (1)
- Re: My ratings on a 1-10 scale would be something like this: - sjb 00:43:52 05/22/02 (0)
- Star Wars vs. the Black Stallion, or, observation of a 9 year old - padreken 14:32:23 05/20/02 (5)
- So, where is the DVD copy of SW:EII - Joe Murphy Jr 15:51:08 05/20/02 (3)
- You missed the point completely - padreken 16:26:24 05/20/02 (2)
- My point - Joe Murphy Jr 16:57:18 05/20/02 (1)
- In general, I agree with you - padreken 20:37:35 05/20/02 (0)
- Great post, padre! - Victor Khomenko 15:13:47 05/20/02 (0)
- Re: More (mostly local) reviews on SWEII - Victor Khomenko 17:14:50 05/19/02 (0)
- "Clones" grosses $116 Million (US) according to Yahoo!. Which (txt) - Radiola 11:27:10 05/19/02 (2)
- "Attack of the Clones" & Sales of "The Phantom Menace" DVD - mikenyc 15:27:29 05/24/02 (0)
- Re: "Clones" grosses $116 Million (US) according to Yahoo!. Which (txt) - Radiola 12:13:56 05/19/02 (0)
- Those that can, do. Those that can't, - Joe Murphy Jr 20:53:40 05/18/02 (25)
- Or..........to quote a noted critic on critics: - danj 21:12:08 05/20/02 (0)
- Of course that goes for writing too. - clarkjohnsen 10:38:58 05/19/02 (23)
- History repeats itself. - Joe Murphy Jr 15:17:00 05/19/02 (22)
- "If you don't like them... don't go see them and don't review them." - clarkjohnsen 07:33:53 05/20/02 (2)
- How many do you have to see - Joe Murphy Jr 16:06:02 05/20/02 (1)
- just be entertained - Joe Murphy Jr 16:28:23 05/20/02 (0)
- Re: History repeats itself. - Victor Khomenko 16:00:44 05/19/02 (18)
- Give me a break! - Joe Murphy Jr 20:17:44 05/19/02 (1)
- Re: Give me a break! - Victor Khomenko 04:06:59 05/20/02 (0)
- Did your kid like it? (nt) - Corndog71 16:20:41 05/19/02 (15)
- Re: Did your kid like it? (nt) - Victor Khomenko 16:46:39 05/19/02 (14)
- One Reason Why Lucas Has Been Good.... - ToshiroMeyers 19:46:25 05/19/02 (13)
- He's done a lot for movies, and that is more than I can say about the majority of modern directors. - Joe Murphy Jr 20:19:31 05/19/02 (12)
- Oh, come on now... - Victor Khomenko 04:17:34 05/20/02 (11)
- "Sliding from Ninotchka" - clarkjohnsen 07:21:57 05/20/02 (10)
- Your wrong! - Victor Khomenko 07:30:40 05/20/02 (9)
- Re: Your wrong! - ToshiroMeyers 08:04:34 05/20/02 (8)
- Unfortunately - Joe Murphy Jr 16:26:01 05/20/02 (1)
- Re: Unfortunately - Victor Khomenko 16:42:58 05/20/02 (0)
- Hey Medved! - Victor Khomenko 08:31:34 05/20/02 (5)
- Re: Hey Medved! - caa 13:21:03 05/20/02 (0)
- Ah yer all a buncha right wingnuts. Star Wars rules! nt - clarkjohnsen 12:24:46 05/20/02 (3)
- LOL! Clark's dream... - Victor Khomenko 14:15:08 05/20/02 (0)
- Yeah, being condescending is a sure way to expand someone elses horizons. (nt) - Tom §. 12:56:42 05/20/02 (1)
- Condescension or no condescension, as we get older we all tend to expand horizontally. - Audiophilander 19:33:34 05/20/02 (0)
- may the Farce be with you... :-o (nt) - geoffkait 17:54:11 05/18/02 (0)