"I'll show YOU ! NObody laughs at Montgomery Shrap ! !" -And a bonus poem

Films/DVD Asylum

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Mates,
I have to tell you about the most hoffifying, gut-wrenching, movie I'ver ever seen. Not only is it tragedy on a terrifying scale, with pathos for worthy victims aompletely suspended in favour of ever-greater and more painful torture inflicted on said worthies, we simultaneousl;y see ourselves there. The images we see on the screen are so memsmorisingly strange, it is torture from which we may not turn away.
We see ourselve rendered, reduced to THEM, those who have abopndoned all hope and entered that Eternal Flames, Hell on Earth, Chaos Macro and Macro:
Home remodelling!
This horror movie to end all horror story is: "The Money Pit."
I have to say, that I can watch "Nosferatu" and "Alien" any five stormy nights per week, but it was only recently that I could bear to watch "The Money Pit". But, I believe that if you don't challenge yourself sometimes, you'll never transcend your greatest fears.
The Story: A very nice yuong attorney- Tom Hanks thinks he's cleverly gotten an impressive estate in N.Y. and mansion for next to nothing. He and his girlfriend buy this monster Colonial- actually a really nice looking well-proportioned house on a big acreage.
Bu, everything they barely touch starts falls off, starts on fire, blows up, and projects a turkey 75' into an upstairs bedroom, but Hanks, while talking on the phone, smoothly sinks via a carpet covering a hole into the library floor, he is trapped and can not answer the door. At the door is the "Permit Man", the guy who can allow the rebuilding of this destroyed hulk to start. But Hanks can not answer and the Magic Medicine Man- the one person on Earth that could have ended suffering- runs away in disgust, offended that Hanks, gasping for breath trapped In a floor, is "laughing". The little plaid, self-important weasel- who earlier had demnded a bribe to bring the permits overs and sign off, stalks away, tearing up the precious permits,and shouting: "I'll show YOU ! I'm NEVER coming back! NObody laughs at Montgomery Shrap ! !"
Slapstick you say, cheap humour of bathtubs falling through floors when you add a bucket of water that had to be carried up a ladder, the contractor's that drive up in new Cadillacs and Corvettes, the swarm of hghly destructive Nazi biker crews that randomly poke 5' long slots though the walls, and only conceded to consider you as a customer after a $5,000 cheque has been passed over -without any quote or starting date.
This house is a far more evil monster than "AmityVille Horror" ever dreamt of.
Cheap humour, stereotypes, instantaneous emotional turmoil, scenes of Biblical plagues of plumbers, plethoras of the weird and obtuse, and really funny ethnic slurs in the millions, but so insidious and good natured- I couldn't look away. It was painful as hell, but I could not look away. Really.
Now, a poem:
"Fur Ich zu einmal umgestaltet haben Sie"
It was all so tragic and so true,
The song the strange violin
Sang to silent shores
Yellowed walls peeling paper
Tired Pipes
Sad drone to
I collapse in "Schadenfreude"
My only friend
And have I known that same parched face
The empty purse.
Trials and jury hung in that Labyrinthine Hell
This cruel City Chaos
Slippery men inexpensive dusty shoes
The taste of plaster dust my only memory
Cheerless, hurried dinners
And off to hard floor
That hardest of all beds
I shall have into made my hunched and trembling
Self to lie
"Naturlich" Alone
Star dust formed but
Dead to a once Sun-touched heart
Now abeat of grey water's sorrow
That a new day should so soon dawn
For I once too
Have remodelled. ***

***From "Songs to a Dead Contractor" by Rainer Rilke, German. First edition, Heughel, Strasborg, 1908. Rainer Maria Rilke (4 December 1875 â€“ 29 December 1926)

Warning: For your own saftey, to avoid a hernia from dangerous over-guffaw, if you have ever been involved with construction in any way, or ever intend to: never, ever watch "The Money Pit".
Cheers,
Bambi B

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Topic - "I'll show YOU ! NObody laughs at Montgomery Shrap ! !" -And a bonus poem - Bambi B 18:59:46 10/28/05 (0)

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