Mike Nelson's MOVIE MEGACHEESE a summer must read!

Films/DVD Asylum

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I am quickly running through this film review book I purchased yesterday. It is simply the funniest book I've read in quite some time. We all need a good laugh once in a while, so I'm giving this my MUST READ! rating.
I will quote a small portion to give you an idea of the serious tone of this literary masterpiece [mantelpiece?]. In Mike Nelson's review of Kevin Costners epic debacle The Postman, he expounds on the joy's of DVD and home theatre set-ups:
"If you currently lack DVD capabilty. you should know that it's relatively easy to acquire the equiptment needed, provided you have a MILLION JILLION DOLLARS! Installation was the tuff part, and in my case I was told it was easier to remove my old house and install a newer, prewired home rather than go through the expense and hassle of rewiring the old one. I was also sold a superior eighteen-channel system, with thirteen of the speakers buried beneath the foundation [the foundation is made of silver, to avoid signal loss], providing antinoise to combat ambient "grunge" traveling through the soil. Of course, one must have at least one hundered watts of power for every line of resolution on your TV, and it's always best to have more. Taking Trent's advice [Trent was my salesman at Big Top Audio], I also installed several outboard D/A converters on my couch, just as a precaution. You certainly don't have to follow my lead, but Trent says if you don't, "your system will totally suck" and "people will laugh at you."
Selecting the right speakers is key. Size isn't all that important, though a good rule of thumb is "pick a speaker just big enough to kill you if you tipped one on yourself, then buy one model number up." Position the speakers using lasers and mirrors, cover your room in thick, acoustical foam, and buy a subwoofer no smaller than a Hyundai Sonata.
Now you can calibrate it [a fortnight's process, involving many strange, odoriferous men with level meters] and you're set to start enjoying films like The Postman, directed by and starring Kevin Costner."
A happy summer to all!
Analogon

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Topic - Mike Nelson's MOVIE MEGACHEESE a summer must read! - Analogon 09:49:48 07/23/00 (0)

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