"Cornman: American Vegetable Hero"

Posted by TAFKA Steve (A) on September 28, 2004 at 08:12:35

In Reply to: You're vote for the best "Worst Movie of All Time" posted by danj on September 27, 2004 at 22:33:02:

Just saw this one last month. How bad is it?

1. Cornman, the hero, has the ability to communicate with corn.

2. Hero's sidekick, Butter Boy, sweats butter.

3. Hero is played by two completely different actors switched in the middle of the film.

4. Hero's girlfriend, Sheila, is played by four different actresses.

5. Hero assisted by the Psychic Nose, a man who can smell farts before they are emitted.

6. Villain is Dr. Hoe, has a gardening hoe instead of a right hand.

7. Dr. Hoe wants to dominate all the corn in the world.

8. Dr. Hoe's assistants are Starchy (redneck), Waxy (British dyke with killer thighs), and Huckleberry Bob (regenerates his head after decapitations).

9. Dr. Hoe's ultimate weapon is Cornsparagus, a hulk-like green creature hybrid of corn and asparagus.

10. Dr. Hoe, having neither the time or patience to set up the plot for us, bribes Uncle Schlomo to "break the fourth wall" and explain it all, including the origins of Cornman and Butter Boy.

11. Don't let Butter Boy use your toilet; you'll be sorry!

12. Has a rippin', punk rock theme song and music video at closing credits.

13. I could list reason #13, but that would be unlucky.

Convinced yet?

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Follow Ups Full Thread

Topic - You're vote for the best "Worst Movie of All Time" - danj 22:33:02 09/27/04 (17)

Re: "Wild Women of Wonga" (really!)nt - Jeff Starrs 08:32:48 10/01/04 (0)

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.... - Don Bunce 13:27:21 09/29/04 (2)

The Winner!!!!! - dwill123 11:56:04 09/30/04 (1)

Esss-Ayyy-Ennn-T-A, See-Elll-Ayyy-Yew-Ess... - TAFKA Steve 06:56:48 10/01/04 (0)

The Beast of Yucca Flats - Jack G 04:23:35 09/29/04 (0)

Gibson and Hawn in Bird On a Wire. The wife loves it of course. - dennzio 20:32:56 09/28/04 (0)

Attack of the killer tomatoes... - millen 12:19:24 09/28/04 (0)

Re: You're vote for the best "Worst Movie of All Time" - jamesgarvin 11:27:20 09/28/04 (0)

Gummo. nt - Eldragon 09:19:42 09/28/04 (0)

A tie... - geoffkait 08:47:11 09/28/04 (0)

"Cornman: American Vegetable Hero" - TAFKA Steve 08:12:35 09/28/04 (1)

Sounds like something from The Cartoon Network..... - danj 21:13:50 09/28/04 (0)

It's a strong toss up ... - dwill123 07:13:37 09/28/04 (0)

Killer Klowns is my favorite "cult" movie . . . - albee33 06:39:46 09/28/04 (0)

Ahhh come on, that was funny - GTF 06:39:31 09/28/04 (0)

oops.......That should be "Your vote" (nt) - danj 22:34:28 09/27/04 (1)

Ishtar (nt) - grinagog 02:28:39 09/28/04 (0)

Follow Ups

"Cornman: American Vegetable Hero" - TAFKA Steve 08:12:35 09/28/04 (1)

Sounds like something from The Cartoon Network..... - danj 21:13:50 09/28/04 (0)

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