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REVIEW: paraphrased Narnia review posted on Steve Hoffman's board...

Posted by Audiophilander (A) on December 12, 2005 at 13:47:11

... from a film critic whose opinion I always respect! ;^)

The Chronic Ills of NARNIA

I'm trying my best not to be judgmental of anyone else's tastes or opinions, but my wife and I saw this film yesterday and weren't impressed. In fact, we both found The Chronicles of Narnia terrible, easily the worst fantasy film we've ever seen! At the other end of the spectrum the benchmark would be the Harry Potter series and the epic or timeless fantasy of Lord of The Rings trilogy, but there are other classics of the genre including Ridley Scott's Director's Cut of Legend and even going back to Fritz Lang's silent Die Nibelungen (Siegfried & Kriemhild's Revenge). CS Lewis's Chronicle of Narnia novels may be of that calibre as source material, but this film did NOT do the author justice.

Without giving away any integral plot spoilers I'll just comment that the first 30 minutes of this film were excellent. The opening WWII bombing scenes and movement of the children to the country are extremely well done, historically accurate and it sets the story up effectively. The first wardobe excursion conveys the sense of wonder as seen through a child's eye quite well; up until this point the story is quite gripping. Where the wheels start coming off is from the second wardrobe excursion onward, with the chidren rapidly accepting the bizarre world they've been thrown into and the cliche` dialogue/behavior of the talking animals.

To describe this film as "boring" doesn't do justice to the word boring. The only creative purgoritive which comes to mind is "Disneyfied" which, as an invented word, entered common usage long ago as a peddling of childish cinematic hokum. In fairness, this only describes the weakest offerings from Disney Studios over the past 30 or 40 years; Pixar Studios and Jerry Bruckheimer collaborations such as Pirates of The Caribbean aren't under Disney Studio's direct control and would not apply here, of course.

In The Chronicles of Narnia we have violently prosecuted battles with no gore, an evil Queen witch who telegraphs her every move and whose "cool" surroundings are so ugly and unpleasant that it's hard to imagine anyone being in awe much less following her, claustrophobic vistas that somehow manage to reduce whatever epic vision this fantasy land promises to the feeling of a back lot, characters with an obvious history tossed into the story with little background and no means of generating audience empathy, kids with no experience turned overnight into efficient warriors without explanation, a theoretically regal talking lion with a CGI personality and "focus" problems, etc., etc., etc.; all very unchallenging stuff for kids, much less adults.

As I see it, the only Narnia character worthy of empathy or interest in this hackneyed tale is Faun, portrayed by an actor who brings something more to the part than a dry cardboard 2D performance with strained CGI razzle-dazzle. In retrospect, this smarmy, watered down, Disneyfied piece of fantasy-fluff reminded me of another wasted opportunity, like so many Disney films of late. Who can forget, for instance, the promise of Disney's film Dinosaur, where the dinosaurs shown in the trailer didn't speak! Obviously the marketing folks knew something that the film-makers did NOT.

Apparently I've expected too much from Disney these days, like films that have a sense of wonder that can be appreciated by children and adults alike. In the final analysis I guess what disgusts me most about Narnia is that Disney isn't just pandering to the very youngest at the expense of a wider audience, but by hyping this film to church groups based upon the author's reputation it's an obvious attempt at exploitive marketing to diffuse any controversy that might arise over the film's fantasy subject matter.

The bottom line: I know that some folks may be displeased by my comments and differ strongly with my impressions; I'm truly sorry about that. It isn't my desire to offend anyone's sensitivities or gore anyone's sacred cow ...or lion for that matter! It's just that this film with it's heavy handed symbolism, cheesy effects, poor pacing and uninspired acting fell far short of our expectations. If this is what the current trend toward epic fantasy is coming to in Hollywood then I think it may be safe to say, albeit sadly, that the trend may be over. Peter Jackson has nothing to fear and Roger Corman parodies are probably in the pipe.

Reviewed by R. Cat Conrad

Enjoy,
AuPh :o)

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