Remake of "Lord of the Rings" ! - - Includes my complete script - Bambi B - Films/DVD Asylum

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Remake of "Lord of the Rings" ! - - Includes my complete script

Mates,
Having seen the three episodes of "Lord of the Rings" directed by Peter Jackson, I've decided that this bloated set of computer generated is deserves a remake. This is in the interest of correcting the annoying and illogical aspects of the Jackson original as well as cutting out the numerous scenes contrived to unecessarily pad out the story and distract the audience with filler material.
Here's the complete script for which I'd appreciate comments:
OPENING THEME: ""
INTERIOR- BILBO BAGGINS RESIDENCE
BILBO BAGGINS: Frodo, it's my 113th birthday. I'm leaving tonight, so here's my Ring of Power. It causes obssession, and makes you invisible, but as far as I can tell has no other use. However, the evil wizard Sauron over in Mordor wants it.
FRODO: "Moredoor" -isn't that the place over in the Dale with great prices on both garage and entry doors as well as moat supplies?
BILBO: Don't joke. Sauron is a great big eye and in a really bad mood.
FRODO: Small wonder. Not having a body must really cut into your sex life!
BILBO HANDS THE RING TO FRODO
FRODO: O.K. I'll look after it. I think I have an old phone bill envelope for it. Say, this is a really nice ring!
ENTER GANDLOFF
Say, here's our old friend Gandolff! What it is dawg?
GANDOLFF: Frodo, you're in great danger. Sauron will stop at nothing to possess that ring even though he doesn't have any way to wear it and as far as I know, it doesn't do anything except make you crazy and uncomfortably invisible. Sauron is gathering a big army of these ugly monster thugs that are also very expensive to animate!
FRODO: What can we do?
GANDOLFF: Well, ithere's only one way to end the probable large scale regional conflict. You have drop the Ring into the lava of that big Volcano near Sauron's house.
FRODO: O.K. This will be an adventure involving thousands of soldiers, huge battles, and a personal quest that will almost fail in it's difficulty. Let's assemsble a set of 7 magical warrior friends and start gathering the forces. Then we will face impossible dangers on out months--long trek.
GANDOLFF: Not so fast. Waiting outside are a pair of giant eagles.
FRODO: The Eagles! They can fly anywhere.
GANDOLFF: That's right. It'll tale abut two hours, but we'll ride the Eagles over to Mount Doom.
FRODO: What about those noisy flying dragons the evil guys use?
GANDOLFF: Oh, I've got my magic "staff" which , when I want it to, produces bright rays that will kill anything. Of course I usually only use it when a battle has gone on awhile and everyone's had a chance to suffer.
FRODO: Let's go!
GANDOLFF and FRODO fly off on the bakcs of the eagles to Mordor and Mt. Doom. No one expected this. FRODO drops the ring in the lava and Sauron's tower falls over.
INTERIOR: BILBO BAGGINS HOUSE
ENTER GANDOLFF and FRODO
BILBO: Gandolff! Frodo ! You're back already? I haven't finished the sandwiches for my party tonight!
GANDLOFF: We had a tail wind on the way back.
FRODO: Can I have one of those beef ones?
BILBO: Sure, you derserve it! You're both heroes that will be spoken of for centuries to come.
GNADOLFF: No big deal really. All these magical powers and I still haven't had a date for 1100 years. Any ale?
BILBO, GANDOLFF, FRODO LAUGH
FRODO: Gosh! I'm glad that over! I"m a bit sore in the posterior region, but- thanks giant eagles!
FADE TO BLACK
THEME NUSIC: "THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC"
____________________
See how easy this is? Use the tools at hand, some logic, cut the flab and you can make major features for just pennies!
Cheers,
Bambi B

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Parts Connexion

Topic - Remake of "Lord of the Rings" ! - - Includes my complete script - Bambi B 09:24:10 01/12/06 (17)

Re: Remake of "Lord of the Rings" ! - - Includes my complete script - marc g. 08:45:32 01/30/06 (0)

Lord of the Rings - late 16:25:56 01/14/06 (2)

I love 'em, too - padreken 14:25:24 01/15/06 (1)

One of the important lines from the final book was left out. - Tony D. 13:35:39 01/18/06 (0)

You made it through all 3? Me & the wife are Bored of the Rings... - musetap 22:41:35 01/13/06 (0)

In my remake, Gandalf uses airpower (the eagles)... - jonbee 14:33:24 01/12/06 (1)

As I recall, that was the approach taken in the LoTR in 30 Seconds parody. - Audiophilander 15:11:50 01/12/06 (0)

Re: Look yonder, Don Quichotte de la Mancha alias AUPH feels provoked again...nt - patrickU 12:08:27 01/12/06 (3)

I don't know about "Don Quichotte"[sic], but I thought you were Da Man from La Muncha!? - Audiophilander 13:33:16 01/12/06 (2)

Re: I don't know about "Don Quichotte"[sic], but I thought you were Da Man from La Muncha!? - patrickU 04:34:01 01/13/06 (1)

The documentary "Lost in La Mancha" ...yes! - Audiophilander 22:53:50 01/15/06 (0)

Already been done ("LoTR in 30 Seconds," a parody cleverly edited together with stills), ... - Audiophilander 12:07:48 01/12/06 (2)

LotR - Bambi B 12:19:12 01/13/06 (1)

"If the eagles could reach this place for a rescue, ..." - Audiophilander 00:22:11 01/16/06 (0)

Re: Would that work for ---- - patrickU 11:36:31 01/12/06 (2)

I doubt you would have a catharsis, but maybe for long films you could borrow Victor's catheter! (nt) - Audiophilander 11:56:25 01/12/06 (1)

Re: Yeah, you be my scatolog then...-------- - patrickU 12:01:48 01/12/06 (0)

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