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In Reply to: Just thinking of the funniest lines. . . posted by Pjay on September 20, 2001 at 17:54:51:
"You gotta pool over there?"
"We have a pond in the back. We have a pool and a pond...the pond would be good for you.""So I jumped ship in Hong Kong, make my way over to Tibet and I get on a course in the Himilayas as a looper. You know, a jock, a caddy. So I tell 'em I'm a pro jock and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama himself! Twelfth son of the Lama, the flowing robes, bald... striking. So we get up on the first tee, he hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - into a ten thousand foot crevass right at the base of this glacier. And he says, "Gunga Galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga." So we get up on 18 and he's gonna stiff me, and I say, "Hey! Lama! How 'bout, you know, a little something for the effort?" And he says, "There won't be any money here... but on your death bed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that going for me, which is nice."
"She looks like a hooker. Look at her, look at her. Could you love someone who looked like that?"
"What are you talking about? Of course not. Five, ten minutes tops, maybe.""Has your father ever killed anyone before?"
"Oh, just a dog. Oh, and my Aunt Edna."
"Hey, you can't prove that, Rusty!"" I'd like to thank the Academy .. Academy for this .. for this beer, eh. It's a beauty. I'll put it on my mantle and uh, you know, try to keep it cold. "
"They got one big gun. They got a couple of tanks. They got a hundred Barishnikovs running around in Ichiwan outfits."
"Yeah, what do we got?"
"We got? What do we got? What are you talking about? We got one heavily armed recreational vehicle here, man."
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Follow Ups
- Some good ones - brewthunda 11:29:11 09/21/01 (0)
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