Films/DVD Asylum

Posted by halfnote (A) on July 09, 2008 at 21:44:28

In Reply to: RE: OK, but what of the rising inflection at the ends of sentences used by the same people? posted by clarkjohnsen on July 09, 2008 at 08:19:51

Yes, I have noted this same phenomenon, with a certain dismay.

It's almost as if everyone is asking for some kind of affirmation for every single statement they make. "Are you listening to to me?" ... "Do you agree with my statement?" ... "Do I have your permission to say this?" ... and other obsequious impulses seem to be at root of this practice, at least to my mind.

The rising pitch at the end of a sentence has been, for as long as I am aware, the linguistic marker for the interrogative. So yes, I think your sense that it has something to do with asking a question of sorts is certainly valid.

I don't know if it stems from the hypocentric emphasis we seem to place on "belonging" -- to social groups, to a circle of friends, etc. -- that has been gaining momentum for decades. Modern parents are almost desperate to arrange "playdates" for their children ... to drive them almost any distance to participate in "group" activities ... to bear almost any inconvenience so that other children, a group, will be the center of their socialization. Hence, the soccer moms ... hence the sleepovers ... hence the ridiculously lavish birthday celebrations and the proliferation of Party Supply Stores (a concept that seemed preposterous to me the first time I saw such an establishment: "These guys will be out of business in a month!" I thought) ... hence, Barney the Purple Dinosaur ("I love you, you love me, we're a happy fami-leee with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you ...)

When I was a kid, if there was no one to play with, you went to your room and read comic books, or you took out a pencil a paper and drew, or went into the basement and experimented with your father's tools ... or you pretended to be a sport hero as you threw a rubber ball against the wall of a building in a parking lot, by yourself. There was no desperation in my parents to see that my every waking moment was spent in the company of my peers ... no endless litanies inSISTING that I "share" or "play nice" or think first in terms of how my behavior related to a group ... no choreography and micromanagement of my daily activities by Moms possessed of an almost fanatical zeal that I be "accepted" by me peer group.

I think, in a way, this tendency so many of us have, of couching every statement in a question, is somehow bound up in this group centric socialization so many of us receive nowadays. It is a reflection of just how much we have been sensitized to whether others are listening ... how large a premium we place on what others think of us ... and how desperately we need to belong.

Perhaps it is a legacy of the 60's, of a generation for whom "being there" and "taking part" and "belonging" to the youth culture became the guiding principal for the first time. Perhaps this value, for better or for worse, is being transmitted to our children. Do you think?